This is Room No 565
Last two times, when I was unwell
I was in the same room
So, this is like homecoming for me..
See blood that oozed from its chest.
Likewise, let my blood too
Ooze onto this paper!
And, dipping my pen in it,
Should I call this an autobiography?
Only as someone without any burden of future can"
Let me write turning each word into an act of endearment
As for me, I'd like to call it poetry"
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'Like Neelamabari raga When one relished butter by oneself'
'Time when mind took wings And swung in the sky'
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'When one relished butter by oneself Like Neelamabari raga'
Two days back, it had rained.
That's why Neermathalam (a variety of pomegranate) has blossomed..
The Neermathalam blooms then
Kamah,
Look at your hair, all messed up!
Grandma, is there Neermathalam in Calcutta?
How do I know?
Go and ask Bala..
I was asked to make an earring for the girl..
Balamani doesn't wear ornaments But why deny it to the girl?
Look! I want my kid to wear ornaments and all..
Half a sovereign will do.. - Okay.
I've some bits and pieces in my box I'll bring them.
You know how to make necklace and pendant?
I'll make it in any fashion you like!
But you should ask your dad to send the money..
Have you seen Goddess at Chottanikkara?
What a grand sight!
Like that, you too should wear ornaments In your ear, hands and neck..
Wear fashionable bangles and necklaces
And stand at the door when your dad arrives from Calcutta"
Then he will ask: who is this princess?!
Will you make ornaments like that of the goddess for me?
But where is the gold for that?
Nalappat women had such a lot of gold ornaments!
Do you know how many ornaments I made For your aunt's marriage?
Everything was given off to Gandhi"
Did Gandhi come to Guruvayoor To pick the ornaments of women here?
Grand-uncle, why does Gandhi need our ornaments?
Who told you?
Goldsmith Narayanan..
The women who took part in freedom struggle
Donated it to Gandhi when he came to Guruvayur
If Gandhi asks, will you give anything?
Of course..
Don't bother grand-uncle" Come and bathe"
What if Gandhi asks for me? Will you give me too?
No, we won't give you, not even to the Mahatma
Even if Lord Guruvayuppan asks for you, I won't give Kamala
It is poet Vallathol and writer Kuttikrishna Marar
Please come..
Aren't you stepping down? - No.
Some other time.
There is a meeting in Kozhikode..
I haven't seen you at Kalamandalam lately?
Convey my regards. - Sure.
From where did you get this guy?
By the students..
Youngsters love him more than Vallathol or Asan (senior poets)
They will be here for lunch Inform the kitchen"
I've to go to Mangalodayam press - Okay.
We'll meet some other time then..
When did you come? - Just now
Do you know him?
I am not sure..
That poem youngsters rave about - 'Ramanan',
God! I haven't met him before..
I too have read most of your poems
Your new anthology is titled 'In the Way of Dharma'?
No, I'll give you a copy..
Jaanu, haven't you made 'Pappadam's for the kids?
Yes.
Balamani's eldest son, what's his name?
You've asked me a hundred times!
Shyam Sunder. Don't you ask me again!
These fancy names don't stay in my tongue"
Oh God! it was at the tip of my tongue!
No pappad for your servant.
Why do you call yourself 'servant'? Say 'l'..
Valli, that is how you call yourself, isn't it?
Valli is a cherumi woman (lower caste)
But you belong to upper caste
Don't teach kids caste and religion!
Kamala belongs to human caste, ok?
If lunch is ready, please serve
Koch utty,
When it got late, I thought you may not come
Balamani said you were coming yesterday
I had to stay back in Madras For company work..
Where did you get down? Shoranur or Thrissivaperur?
Thrissivaperur
Dad, here is my pendant earring goldsmith made!
Good!
Kids say such things
She has to join the English school this year.
Two more weeks left before schools reopen.. - So what?
I've booked the tickets for tomorrow
And I have an urgent meeting in office on Monday
So, I have to go tomorrow itself"
Are you all right, Mohandas?
But it is boring here I like Calcutta
Only Aami wants to stay back
She doesn't want to leave her grandma, the servants and Punnayurkulam"
So you are leaving tomorrow?
How I wish I were born as Valli!
It is the new car of Am bazheth! Shining!
You want to take a ride?
If I ask, they'll take me..
Valli, I am leaving"
Aami, come on!
Bye, grand-uncle"
See you..
Kamah,
Come on, get up..
I will die, Krishna"
Nothing will happen
Write whatever comes to your mind..
Go ahead and write.. I will sit beside you..
Good evening mom.
Aami, go change your dress and wash"
Why do you look sad?
Our skin AI why is it so dark?
What kind of a question is that?
Some cruel god has smeared us with dirt And sent us to earth"
But you are not so dark"
You should come and see my class mates!
All very fair, with golden hair and all..
But you are studying in white man's school!
Brother says in our school only some of us are dark-skinned!
What are you saying?
Nothing.
Will you teach me Bengali?
She's asking if you'll teach her Bengali..
Had tea and snacks? Yes
She stinks"
Like Punnayulkulam, we've no ponds or canals here!
What about you?
I bathe on alternative days in the bathroom
Look at the old Bengali lecher ogling!
When I change dress, he peeks..
What did you say?
A British teacher is coming tomorrow To teach Kamala English
Come on! Answer my questions!
Kamala!
I don't know stories.
This teacher does not know any stories!
Listen here..
Next question. Who is the author of Julius Caesar'?
Who is that?
Krishna, do you remember when I saw you first?
Come and sleep..
You still have fever!
It is morning! You haven't left yet?
Better leave.. I've to get ready for school..
Go now, Krishna"
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'Like Neelamabari raga When one relished butter by oneself'
'Taking wings, the mind flew And swung in the sky'
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'Like Neelamabari raga When one relished butter by oneself'
'Big girl' m ean s,I'-'\1]
...you too can give birth to a child Like Balamani gave birth to Sulu..
Grandma, if I look at the Sun like Kunthi Will I too get a child?
'To whisper a secret The dawns came near'
Look! When you menstruated, the Neermathalam blossomed!
The Neermathalam flowers smell the same As menstruating girls"
'Who wrote like collyrium The dreams in your eyes..'
Aami.
To teach you drawing"
Go, change your dress and come..
This is your drawing teacher.
'And day and night caressed With magical peacock feathers...?'
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'Like Neelamabari raga When one relished butter by oneself'
'Taking wings, the mind flew And swung in the sky'
Who are you looking for'?
Where is drawing master'?
I don't think he'll come today"
India is getting Independence today!
Victory to Mother India!
Victory to Jawaharlal Nehru!
Victory to Mother India!
Freedom at midnight.
VM, is the radio working"? - Yes.
In Calcutta and Punjab, riots have broken out
Partition dampened the spirit of Independence!
People are running frantically In any vehicle they can get into
Both from and to the East and West.
Long years ago,
and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge,
not wholly or in full measure,
but very substantially.
India will awake to life and freedom.
Close all the shops!
There is a riot in the other street!
There's rioting"
Close the shops immediately!
How come you are here?
Hey, come inside..
Why didn't you come to teach?
You are all wet..
Won't you catch fever'?
All our people in this street are leaving for Pakistan
Any moment, the riots can spread here..
We'll do one thing
Kamala, go home..
Go!
Today, I will leave for Dacca
I won't come back"
We won't meet again"
Be h3PPV~
That young man, who offered me the sweet of first love,
I never saw him again"
Like a vague dream I saw one night,
he left my life forever..
Madhavadas is from Am bazheth, isn't it?
A rank holder from Presidency College, Madras.
Now he is employed in Reserve Bank
What else do you need?
But he is 20 years older than Aami!
She is only 15..
Do you know something? you are getting married!
Now no need to go to Ambazhath as a guest
You can very well stay there!
But he is old enough to be her father!
So what?
Nalappat women are always married off to intelligent and educated men!
It is not their age or beauty that matters..
Is there not?
Anyone can love anybody anytime"
So, shall I love you, Krishna?
I alone shall love my Krishna"
It is very late"
Kamala must be bored waiting for you
Das, you may 9°"
Don't go now..
Come in..
It will go on till morning" You come..
Be cheerful, Aami.
Doctor said you'll be discharged tomorrow or day after"
We had to spend a lot of money, isn't it?
There'll be a lot of readers for Madhavikkutty's autobiography.
'My story.
Don't you think so?
It should create one..
The rest is her problem!
'When a woman leaves her first man And goes to another man's bed
It is not a joke or something amoral
But it is a tragedy, she is humiliated, and wounded'
I was always an orphan,
Spiritually and emotionally.
Though I loved my husband deeply
He couldn't love me
So far, I haven't yet met a man who knows how to love..
Is VM Nair here? - No.
Father has gone to Kozhikode
Uncle, please come in..
When did you come? - Two days back.
Is Balamani here?
Yes.. - Call her..
What all nonsense has Kamala written?
We at Nalappat and Amabazhath; can we raise our heads before the public again?
She writes what she is convinced about
There's no point in anyone questioning it!
So,
Sankaran Uncle came here and created a scene!
Ambazhath people are also upset.
That you wrote what you were convinced about.
Did father read it? - Don't know..
What did you feel?
But, those who read Madhavikkutty (Aami's pen name)
May not think the same way..
He knows me..
Aami.
Meet my friend, Purushottham
A well-known poet in Marathi"
A writer from Kerala told him about your 'My Story'
From then on, he's dying to listen to it..
After coffee, please translate And read it out for him
Let him also enjoy our 'bedroom secrets'.
Ask him to first learn Malayalam And then read it and enjoy..
She said, you first learn Malayalam
That's Kamala Das.
I didn't say that to hurt you..
I just meant some fun.
Truth and lie - only because you see with your own eyes!
But..
That there is one Madhavikkutty who lives only in her dreams
And another who lives with me AI The readers don't know that!
Then I am not writing anymore"
But I didn't interfere in your writing"
Sit.
Come on, I am in a good mood..
I have to write, Dasetta"
careful.
Having grown up in Calcutta; you won't find it difficult to live in Bombay
Still, when I go to office You will be left alone
What will you do then? - I will manage"
Now I've a small job
Soon, I'm getting a promotion
Where do I keep it, sir? - Till then, we've to make do with this"
Keep it there.
Do you know how to cook?
Then, you have to learn it by yourself"
And also how to behave to the husband in bed..
Ram lal,
Buy something to eat.
Okay sir.
20 years' age difference is big
15 years and 35 years"
I may not be able to get down to your age
you should understand my needs
And rise up to my needs..
Aami, you are like a kid..
You don't know many things.
She'll teach you things.
She is a prostitute from the red street.
She's Padmini, from Kochi..
She'll leave after some time"
After spending hours with them, They pay only 5 or 10 bucks..
But, sir gave me 50 rupees for this!
I've never felt lust"
With him, my lust had somehow disappeared"
I yearned for him to hold me in his embrace"
if only he had caressed my face or touched my belly
I wouldn't have so severely felt that sense of rejection..
How is she?
The usual difficulties of first deliveryfiifl
Look at him!
'To the leaves and the flowers I have many many things to say'
'l desire within to relish the smell of freshly upturned earth'
'And to get drenched..'
'Oh dear bird crooning from Ilanji tree Oh, blue bird,'
'I feel your heart throbs And the warmth in your bosom..'
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'The butter one relished by oneself Like Neelambari'
Monu is one and half years old
I should.
But Dasettan is too busy with work
It is months since he left!
Let him come whenever he feels like
I even sometimes forget I'm married
That's a nice feeling"
You are impossible!
I like this"
Lot of time to read,
Every month, Iwrite 2 or 3 stories.
You and your stories!
I read one recently"
You write so candidly! I felt so embarrassed!
Why don't you write nice stories like the poems mother writes?
Stories with social messages? - Yes.
My grand uncle, Narayana Menon..
Have you read his 'The Empire of Sex'?
The blood that runs in my veins It is not my mother's but of grand uncle..
That's the problem..
Monu, don't cry.
Look at that.
I told you about him
My friend who stays with me..
Stop here..
Oh god! What all things I've left here?
Scoundrel!
Shameless wretch!
I am shifting to another place
As you have come, I am out"
At that moment, I loathed all men
I understood all my dreams about marriage were totally crumbling
Why couldn't I go back or leave Dasettan?
I began to withdraw more and more into myself..
The glow of my face began to fade"
Though I decided to commit suicide several times
My husband didn't take care of me at all
He began to look at me with hatred
He often told I was mad"
I don't know what you want
I mean, what is wrong with you?
How are you?
You too!
He didn't back away from the relationship with his friend
They behaved like lovers, even in front of me..
Then, I despised my womanhood"
I thought I was losing his love forever..
But...
I was loving him very deeply..
I thought of suicide again"
your life is not to end like this tonight.
These wounds will heal soon..
Tonight, we'll sit here gazing at the moon..
Your mind is brimming with poetry now
I will keep you company.
Krishna, will you always stay with me like this?
Das, you should give her more care
She is very sensitive and emotional.
As she writes and paints, It is quite natural.
In her mind, reality and fantasy are mixed up..
For some time, stay away from this atmosphere"
Then her mind will calm down..
'Rad ha'
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
'Wandering in the heat of memories'
'Krishna, she, the ripples of Yamuna river..'
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
'Lonavala' 22 km
'Like the pupil in the peacock feather eye Are you too flaring from within Krishna ?'
'Are you too flowing like the music
from the flute of the one adorned with wild flowers?'
'The one who is pining in love'
'The one who is pining in love Oh, Radha, you are the forest moonlight.'
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
'The shepherdess searched with her eyes That dark handsome figure.'
'Dwaraka, dear Dwaraka...'
'Do you know the intoxication In the heart of the lover?'
The one who follows me in different forms and guises"
Who was he to me?
In that summer, when coral flowers burned..
That young man, who put white flowers on my hairfifl
What is he expecting from me?
Your body too is sacred to me..
In my eyes, you are a goddess
'One brimming with love..'
'Oh Radha, one lashing like a wave as a water-anklet.)
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
'Wandering in the heat of memories'
'Krishna, she, the ripples of Yamuna river..'
'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'
'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'
Why are you not coming to see me?
What happened, Aami?
For my childhood and adolescence
Those nights I slept hugging her close
The cool, soothing touch of her fingers.
If those were not there, Aami would have been a weakling..
I didn't attend grandma's funeral ceremonies
From that vacuum, and from my insanity
What saved me was Carlo's arrival..
What is this, man?
Aami?
I mean, Kamala? Kamala Das?
Do you recognize me?
Your dearest pen friend Carlo.
Carlo is son of an Italian millionaire
He used to write to me constantly that he loved me
Ayoung man who was a little mad
He came to know of Indian culture from my letters
He came to India to do research on it..
Who is Carlo to you, Kamala?
He tells his friends and parents That I'm his fianc\/©..
He wants me to leave my husband and kids And go with him..
I didn't say anything, Krishna"
Do you love him?
Love is like the sea"
It always rushes towards the shore..
I am transferred to Calcutta"
I'm coming with you.
You go back to Italy.
And marry another girl
No! Never! I can't do that.
I don't know why" Suddenly I felt bored with Carlo"
I wanted him to leave the country at the earliest".
Please let me go, Carlo.
I'll catch fever if I get wet!
You must get fever and you must die of fever.
So, you abandoned Carlo?
Your loves AI are they mere infatuations?
As you wish..
My dear Krishna, will you abandon me?
Am I not always with you?
Then, why did you abandon Radha then And go to Mathura?
That abandoned soul of Radha Is there inside every woman"
A time when those dark clouds drifted away from my mind..
I took good care of my husband"
I don't remember my mother showing affection to me
But I loved my children a lot..
'Oh dear bird crooning from Ilanji tree Oh, blue bird,'
'I feel your heart throbs And the warmth in your bosom..'
'In the Neermathalam blossom When time dropped like dew'
'The butter one relished by oneself Like Neelambari '
In the next two years, I wrote a lot
Including the story 'The Smell of a Bird' That made me famous
With the publication of 'Summer in Calcutta', my fame increased
A lot of admirers came in search of me..
It was in a hospital in Kozhikode,
when my father was working in Mathrubhumi newspaper
That my third son was born..
During monsoon, when my mind was calm On a night lashed with heavy rain..
My son Jayasurya came to give me company..
Having come to Bombay, how can I leave without meeting you?
Yes
The 23rd issue will come out this week..
All because of the popularity of your 'My Story'
Who writes so openly about private life!
Krish nan Nair, the critic wrote thus.
Yes..He also wrote once that I was insane..
I don't like the smell of cigarettes
Each man has his own smell, isn't it?
When each issue comes out
Readers are anxious to know who your next lover is..
The readers or you?
Your beauty overwhelms your writing..
You have such charm"
'My Story' - I am stopping it..
Kamala, I know you are not serious..
I am serious!
The readers only want to know how many lovers Madhavikkutty has!
If you want your name too to be included in the list,
Forget it!
Look!
When My Story got discontinued for a week, A flood of letters from the readers!
Shall I speak to her'?
If she wants to stop, let it be..
Let her not think she can overpower us!
Start serializing it!
Let her have her fill..
Why did you stop your 'My Story' all of a sudden?
I felt really sad"
You disappointed so many readers"
I won't read that weekly without 'My Story',
I felt so sad"
I don't even get sleep at night.
It had affected my life so deeply..
I am a boy of 18 years
One night, lying on my bed, I was reading your book 'My Story'
Unexpectedly my father entered..
Seeing me reading your book, he got wild
Saying you are an immoral person, a libertine,
And a witch out to spoil the youth,
He forcibly took away the book from me..
Some days later, when Iwent to his room
I saw him reading your book!
The moment he knew I saw him
My father, the big moralist, was embarrassed..
Maybe due to false pride or unable to face me
The next day, my father committed suicide
When I saw my mother weeping, without a clue as to why he died, I despised you..
I am writing this letter with all that despise..
Take it easy, Aami. It was his fate" what can we do about it?
Madhavikutty, the writer is a woman with strong will..
And look at you! What is this?
You write what you feel like..
The readers are fools.. You don't care about that.
When I say I am the husband of Kamaladas who wrote Summer in Calcutta & The Sirens,
The North Indians here respect me a Iotfifl
lam proud of you,Aami..
For what?
I only know the mother of my three kids, Aami, from Nalappat,.
Is Madhavikkutty here? - Who is it?
You won't know I am a school teacher from the South..
Can I meet her'?
I am Sudhakaran, a Mathematics teacher in a government school
This is my wife, also mother of my two kids
She teaches Malayalam in the same school
Her name.. you need not know that.
Before 'My Story' came out,
She never wore ornaments.
She was an ordinary honourable housewife, obedient and demure..
Now look at her!
A big bindi.. and ornaments all over!
Just like you!
More times than she read Ramayana!
She says she is an object of lust for me!
You are mad!
Now my wife too got infected with it
Come!
Hey!
I am so happy to see you in person!
It is not mere admiration"
In my thought and mind, I too am a Madhavikkutty!
In both of us, there is a woman who yearns for love all the time..
So, we will go in search of a man who can give us love, isn't it?
After all this, why haven't you left Dasettan yet?
After what all?
Who told you I wanted to leave my Dasettan?
I am not just writing life
Here comes an admirer!
Go home and burn 'My Story'
You teach Malayalam in school, isn't it?
Go to school and teach the kids The poetry of Ezhuthachan and Asan..
Moving between various cities, wherever Dasettan was transferred,
like Bombay, Calcutta, Delhi and Colombo..
I spent a long period of my life and writing
In the early 80s, when Dasettan retired,
we shifted to Thiruvananthapuram.
Shod u, you want coffee? - No, mom.
Once it is ok, Book trunk calls to Chin nu and Monu
Till then, let the books be here..
The room upstairs is ideal for you to write..
If you open the windows, there is wind..
Not only that, in Thiruvananthapuram You will have a lot of visitors.
Come down only if it is really urgent.
I'm not going to write stories anyway!
If you sit doing nothing, you'll grow old fast.
Am I not old now?
We are still 20 years apart" That has not reduced..
Rest of our lives, I'll be your guard"
Let history record Madhavadas' retired life that way..
Go.
We are from Cotton Hill School
We read that you've moved to Thiruvananthapuram
The students wanted to meet you..
So you teachers didn't want it?
No, we too wanted"
Please come for our School Day for a speech.
Oh, no! I've just come here.. I am not ready for it now.
Madam, please. It's a great desire of ours..
But have any of you read my stories?
I have"
'The Ghee sweet dish'.. Then, 'The Smell of Bird'..
I have read 'Raja's Love'..
When I took 'My Story' from our library
Miss took it back saying it was not for kids..
They are small kids, 50M]
Then why did you buy it for your library,
I am a farmer, in Wayanad..
After MA, she wanted to study journalism So, I enrolled her here..
Not that I can afford it..
I write a little
Some of my poems have been published..
My anthology. of 30 poems..
Not mine, you need god's blessings
I wish you all the best.
Why are you so lean?
Not much..
At this age, girls should eat well..
People say, hunger inspires poetry" That's nonsense..
Staying in hostel? - Yes.
Keep it, dear"
It is ok..
Keep it.
It is my pleasure, keep it..
Kamala is a bit forgetful these days"
What she gave you is actually fake jewellery
In case you try to sell or pawn It will be a shame for all..
Keep this"
My blessings!
Aami loves everyone, sym pathizes with all..
But if you give away things to everyone
You will have to beg in the end..
She was a poor girl.. - Maybe"
That's my problem..
Your long-time absence here Is a huge loss for Kerala culture"
Don't worry about that.
Now that you are here, you should actively involve in the cultural and social front..
I've enough to write..
But civil society here needs a legendary personality like Madhavikkutty"
If civil society takes me over fully what will Dasettan and my kids do?
For long, our organization has been working Above party politics, In the cultural front
We've thousands of members here and all over Kerala
If you can lead it, we can develop it Into an alternative political movement
I am not interested in politics.
For the next parliamentary elections You should contest from here..
If it is not a bother, please come another day"
Please reconsider our proposal
Politics is not like writing stories.
But they are pressurizing me..
They will keep you in the front And get their things done..
I don't think so They are good people..
Why are you silent?
You are a public figure
Unni, say something"
Are you capable of running a political party?
It is not me.. They'll take care of all that!
If you decide something No point in anyone else opposing it..
Dasettan has no objection
Monu and Chinnan also agreed" Shodu too..
Did you tell mother? - No.
What is the ruckus all about?
Nothing"
just enjoying our time together"
Next week, aren't you coming to Thiruvananthapuram to receive an award?
After that, stay with me for a few days
But you are too busy..
Now you're contesting in the elections too...!
But who told you?!
I too live in this country"
My dear Malayalee friends
I believe you all know Madhavikkutty, the writer
But now I am standing before you In another role..
From now on, I wish to live Amidst you, as one among you
The only reason why I became A candidate in this election.
I also don't know their language"
What I want to say I will say truthfully..
The Darling of Malayalees The Dear Daughter of Kerala, Madhavikkutty
Please cast your valuable votes In the symbol of Rising Sun..
Election News continues.
In Thiruvananthapuram parliamentary constituency
Congress candidate A Charles wins..
He defeated Neelalohitadas Nadar of Left Front by 53438 votes
Charles got 2,39,791 votes and Nadar 1 ,86,353 votes
Eminent writer Madhavikkutty who was also a candidate
Lost miserably and lost her deposit...
An independent candidate, she received only 1786 votes
Mom, that chapter is over..
But Aami will not be demoralised by this, isn't it, dad?
Look at him laughing!
I am only sad that I lost the deposit
It was Dasettan's pension money
I could've at least bought some books!
Or a silk saree!
There must be at least 2 Iakhs readers of my stories In Thiruvananthapuram
Also, thousands of women who love Madhavikkutty.
If even half of them voted for me I'd get a majority of over 50,000
That gentleman who repeated these
Shodu, is he around?
Good..
Chinna, pick the phone.. Must be someone calling to congratulate.
It's okay, my brave heart.
You have been nominated from India for Nobel Prize, for your collection of poems.
Yes.
It is for the first time that a writer From Kerala is nominated for Nobel Prize!
What is there to ask?
I should be happy, isn't it?
Did you feel so, when you were defeated in elections?
What's your name?
Kamala-ji, how many men have you loved so far?
Well..
17 men, 12 women, 6 children, 3 dogs, one cat and two parrots, to be exact"
What's the name of your first lover'?
The last one?
Krishna, why are you laughing?
You disappointed that girl..
She expected from you a woman she imagined in her mind..
And she expected an answer to suit that.
Krishna, how can I become what other imagine me to be?
Nowadays, you are not coming to me whenever I call..
I am tired of so many people calling me..
But am I one among them?
My Krishnan is mine alone"
I am getting old, Krishna
my hair is turning grey"
Never thought I'd get old
Even the last drop of youthful blood In my body has drained..
Now I will turn into a tree that never blossoms..
In your body, the smell of that old Neermathalam still lingers.
A Neermathalam yearning to blossom for many years"
Will you continue to love me, Krishna?
You've anything to tell me?
You brought up my children well
And you gave me more than I wished for..
It is midnight.
The body will be taken only in the morning"
ask everyone to leave..
Shodu, Chinnan, you also go to sleep.
I will stay here with Dasettan"
Sulu, you too 90..
Go!
Mom, please go and sleep..
I will stay here
You 90..
Only this night, Dasettan will be with me..
With widowhood, A woman's first life comes to an end..
Then what she gets is a second life..
In the second life that counts losses
What is never lost is the name one earns in first life..
I will always remain Mrs Das..
Krishna,
You are really weak"
I came when I heard you're here..
Anyway no one is staying here Then why should we retain it?
If you are selling, there is a good buyer
When I asked Mohan and Sundaran They asked me to consult you".
But those who buy, won't they demolish it?
It is more than 150 years old..
And can collapse any moment.
Do as you wish..
Let us keep the sacred grove and Neermathalam tree, and sell only the rest..
If you sell everything, memories of Punnayulkulam too will fade away"
I want at least the memory of This Neermathalam tree..
'The Time Neermathalam Blossomed'
Madam gave me an appointment today"
I am Akbar Ali
I had sent some cassettes of Urdu Ghazals for her..
She will be here soon.
I have heard a lot about you"
Though I am meeting you for the first time..
For years, I've admired you..
This meeting is Merciful Allah's blessing
This bewitching smile of yours Is as soft and sweet like yourwords..
I don't know Urdu..
This bewitching smile of yours Is as soft and sweet like yourwords..
Sit down.
If you don't mind, Shall I sit near yourfeet?
A Muslim should not bow before anyone Except for Allah..
Doesn't your Quran say so?
This is not bowing"
But a self dedication as Gita says..
Before those we love and admire We offer our mind and body
Bhagavad Gita is as great as Quran That's what I think..
I've heard that you are a great scholar and orator..
But you also know how to talk sweetly"
What you said is a great honour for me..
I am a humble admirer and teacher
You are mostly in Delhi, isn't it?
Mini, bring some coffee..
For the last few days I was listening to the ghazals you sent
Urdu is such a beautiful language"
Madhavikkutty, a gifted writer dear to Allah
The gems of words that flow from your fingers
And the love that brims in them I am deeply in love with them..
'Why count your age in years?'
'When desires stay young?'
'If you are not here Why do I stay here?'
'If time stops still'
'My footsteps would be seen on earth'..
Hello..
No, lam on the way
Like the most beautiful ghazal I heard in my life,
'If you are not here Why do I stay here?'
When I left home, I looked for you..
I went to pick Kamala It's her birthday today"
Kamala, this is Girija and her daughter They stay near our house..
You know her, isn't it?
Can widows celebrate birthdays?
Didn't I tell you? Today, someone is coming to see Ammu..
I don't want anything inauspicious today"
Why is she behaving like this?
Don't you know that?
When going for something auspicious Seeing a widow is considered inauspicious
She didn't like your presence..
Hello. - It's Akbar Ali.
It's Akbar Ali sir..
My Hearty birthday wishes..
How do you know its my birthday?
Did I tell you?
No.. Shouldn't one know the birthday of dear ones?
I am on the way from Thiruvananthapuram.
I want to give you a birthday gift.
Why not?
Come and have lunch here..
I've heard you like dark colors..
After Dasettan's death, I haven't celebrated birthdays
Maybe I felt like celebrating this year To receive your gift"
Here are some poems I translated
Poems by Iqbal and Mirza Ghalib"
Do you know something?
...for being a widow..
In your community, Are widows ostracised like this?
If they want, they can also remarry, isn't it?
Islam is a religion that respects women highly"
Long ago, when I was in Calcutta I wished to become a Muslim..
I also jokingly told Dasettan about it..
I was fascinated by the sight of North Indian Muslim girls
Wearing glass bangles and mehndi all over their hands"
Shall I serve lunch...? - Yes.
We've only vegetarian dishes here..
Hope you don't mind..
Not at all.. It's a birthday feast after all!
It is prayer time
Like at home, you can pray here..
Enough.
You have two wives, isn't it? - Yes.
How come you married twice" at this young age?
Didn't your first wife get upset?
If you can protect and satisfy both And have the means and health
If necessary, You can marry up to four, right?
But is it possible to apportion love?
I'd say love is like a wild stream"
It can flow in any direction"
It is our mind that gives it direction..
But after sometime, wouldn't it get weak?
And it slows downfifl
Nothing like that.
So, it has to flow..
Mini, serve the sweet dish..
After that, you've to recite Urdu poetry
Now I feel I am Allah's dearest.
That is why Allah made me eligible for this love..
This youngster captivates me
his scholarship,
His innocent smile..
Everything attracts me to him..
A totally new experience
Like a new perfect woman, untouched by age, Taking birth inside me..
It has been so long since I painted!
When I write or paint I don't like anyone sitting near me
Good that you told me.. I will leave"
I told that to Dasettan and the kids So that I can stay alone..
It is not applicable for you..
In front of you, I am not Kamala orAami..
These graceful hands, capable of writing and painting -
I am old, boy..
They were beautiful.
You mostly paint nudes?
Haven't you received a lot of criticisms for that?
Those rogues have no other job..
All are hypocrites!
Did you see this painting?
Once, a so-called painting connoisseur from North
Asked me, whether it's my self portrait.
Does it resemble me at all?
I removed the saree from my bosom And asked him straight:
Does my breast resemble hers?
After that, he didn't utter a word!
My house is by the riverside
Lot of trees, birds, wind..
From my porch, one can watch sunset
You can peacefully write and paint there..
I rarely go anywhere"
What if I insist?
Akbar-ka, she has arrived!
Please come..
This is my Kamarban
Kamar in Arab means moon, isn't it?
Please come.
To prepare vegetarian dishes Kamar specially brought her..
She knows only to cook fish and meat.
I used to eat fish and chicken When I was in Calcutta and Bom bay"
I stopped it when Dasettan died..
This jack-fruit dish is delicious!
She is a great admirer of yours
She can't read or write, but has read most of your stories"
She has read your Neermathalam, Childhood Memoirs etc, isn't it?
I too am yourfan
Not only of your writings. In your photos, you look really beautiful"
Please tell her..
Purchasing ornaments and dress is a ritual"
She's going for that and will return tomorrow..
It is ok..
She'll be here..
You've Bharathapuzha river at Punnayurkulam?
There's no river there,
It is getting late, and master is not yet back"
In case you need anything, I will stay"
Did I take my medicines?
Yes.
'Maybe there is the moon, But tell me about earth'
'Tell me about this beautiful girl Tell me about the land she lives in'
'Maybe there is the moon, But tell me about earth'
Sorry, am I too late?
I thought you may come only tomorrow morning"
To leave a guest alone, is indecent.
Do you usually sleep late?
If I sleep early, Won't I lose this beautiful night?
Have you ever swum in it with your wife?
She is scared of water"
Do you feel like swimming?
I am past that age"
That Madhavikkutty is always young" That's what we admirers would like to believe
'Maybe there is the moon, But tell me about earth'
'When I see you I experience god'
'Tell me about our realities'
'Maybe there is the moon, But tell me about earth'
A woman living alone Is like a placid lake
A small breeze is enough To create a lot of ripples in it
Was Akbar a breeze like that?
The last night and these moments -If you think it's my impropriety
How do I atone for it?
If age is not a problem
...why not spend the rest of your life in this house?..
You will have to sacrifice a lot..
Your social status,
I believe in Allah
If this is Allah's will I will sacrifice anything for it..
Won't people ridicule us?
The Mad havikkutty everyone knows, is someone who does what her mind says is right
To remove the stigma of widowhood I can live as a Muslim, isn't it?
Will your people let me join your religion?
Islam is a humanist religion That is open to all..
Won't there be oppositions?
Is Madhavikkutty afraid of opposition?
I am afraid only of myself, Akbar"
Look at the morning star"
In Arabic, it is called Surayya
Surayya,
From now on, let the world call you Kamala Surayya..
Lakshmi, - Yes.
Tomorrow morning, get ready to be shocked!
Not only you,
but everyone who knows Kamala will be shocked..
Better know it tomorrow
Kamala is going to leave Madhavikkutty behind..
Religious conversion is like changing one's dress.. That's what I feel..
Everyone wears the dress they like
That's all..
Instead of going to temple Now I will go to mosque
and pray there"
Only if you consider it an international problem
There is earthquake and sky-collapse.
I've nothing more to say"
From today on, I am not Kamaladas
This name is beautiful, isn't it?
Eminent writer Madhavikkutty converts to Islam
She announced this while inaugurating a conference at Library Council Hall today
She said she won't be Kamaladas anymore
She revealed that she is adopting a new name AI Kamala Surayya
in a conference attended by media and students
She said no visitors.
No one is allowed inside
Till now, we've never interfered In yourwishes and decisions..
This too is like that.
If you are convinced about your decision Do as you like.. but"
You should face the consequences yourself"
The relatives have started murmuring..
Let anyone get agitated But I've already decided..
Does mother know of this?
She doesn't know anything these days
When she saw your photo in newspapers She just gazed at it..
Monu asked me about your relationship with Akbar
They said it is difficult to discuss with you..
That only Allah is worthy of worship And there is no one else..
That Muhammed Nabi is Allah's prophet
I firmly affirm it in my mind And clearly utter with my tongue..
The Hindus are agitated
I also got many threatening calls"
I'd say it was a rash decision
My husband has asked me to stop visiting you..
What kind of a world is this?
So, you gave up your Krishna too?
How can I?
My Krishna is always with me..
You people need not go to Guruvayur
Krishna is no longer there..
When Icalled, he came away with me..
I thought you may not come to see me..
That is enough for me..
This dress too suits you well..
Surayya.. Kamala Surayya..
Which is your religion, Krishna?
You saw me in your love for this universe, isn't it?
So, isn't that my religion?"
Then, from now on, shall I call you Prophet?
You saw me in Gita"
Hello..
Who is it? - No need to know who I am
You lured that woman and converted her..
If you are planning to live with her,
You bfinflfinfld, we don't give a damn who you are!
We'll butcher you!
Why did you get into all this trouble?
If you start dancing to her tunes Me and my kid will commit suicide..
I warn you!
Bah“,
come to my flat with Vijayalakshmi immediately".
Sister, I've an urgent meeting"
Ok, I will..
Go away
Kamala Surayya go away
Long Live Hindu Front
If you insult the community,
remember you're playing with fire
Surayya, don't be scared"
Let them shout from there..
Some of our boys are here to guard you..
Shall we leave then?
What is all this, Balan?
Hindus say they'll kill me
Muslims come to guard me..
Go and tell them to leave me alone.
You can make speeches saying one has freedom to choose one's religion"
But if you practice it, they'll interfere
They don't have anything else to do?
Now let us face it..
I am not scared at all
Isn't it Vijayalakshm I?
It was strictly personal
Did anyone think otherwise?
I fear this'll turn into a communal riot!
In this condition, my staying here Will only make things worse..
So, lam thinking of going back to Delhi
Please forgive me..
You want to escape from this?
You may 90..
But, whatever happens Until death, I'll be Kamala Surayya..
Come on, let's go..
A breeze that went by, creating ripples.. That was Akbar..
Anyway, the lake cannot reclaim the breeze...
Mom..
In a way, it is good
that Mom is not aware of anything"
Or, is she pretending?
Pretending she doesn't know anything!
'The night is about to go to sleep'
'The moonlight drying up Is caressing the trembling leaves of peepal tree'
'Bahmaniamma Departs'
'I feel the cold thickening in the wind somewhere'
'The scent of white lotus blooming'
Am ma,
Why did you return Without staying back for the funeral?
The media people were looking for you..
I left because I didn't want them to pick on me..
Mom had written a lot about motherhood..
But when I was a child, I don't remember her hugging or cuddling me..
If you have love within, why not show it?
How can one not fondle one's children?
I brought up my kids, Fondling them a lot..
None of my Hindu friends visit me now..
Yesterday, people there were staring at me As if I were a strange animal!
How can they behave like this?
Sad!
Yes, I think it is this house!
Who are you? - I want to meet Kamalutty.
Who? - Kamala Surayya.
I can't let you in like that. You've to take prior appointment.
Where are you from? - From Kozhikode..
I was with her long time back"
She wrote these books about me..
Ok, go ahead
You may 90.. I'll come later.
Okay.
Go to the bus stand.
I can't think and write as per your decisions..
You may be a writer or whatever" But you are a Muslim now..
Islam clearly lays down rules about How Muslim women should behave"
As per your directions
Don't I make speeches about such things To women in Kozhikode and Malappuram?
Isn't that enough?
If Surayya writes and does things like Madhavikkutty did earlier,
We'll have to interfere in that.
Now you may leave"
I've some work to do..
Hey, wait.
Can I take a photo?
We're leaving" - Okay. Go!
You, Jan uam ma!
Who are these people? I saw many of them downstairs too..
I couldn't recognize you at first!
What kind of a dress is this?
I saw your photo in the papers too..
You came alone from Kozhikode?
My son-in-law dropped me here..
Because you changed religion"
Before I die, I wanted to see my Kamala once more..
Now, like before, can you put big bindi on your face, and let your hair down?
That image is imprinted in everyone's mind!
You shouldn't have done this!
What do you like me to look as?
Did you hear?
Kamala Surayya is coming to Punnayurkulam tomorrow!
Its there in the papers! - I saw!
Coming there is fine!
But if she enters the serpent grove, We won't allow it!
Now it is the temple com mittee That lights the lamp there!
This portion of the com pound
This serpent grove and the land where Neermathalam stands still belongs to her!
How can I tell them not to enter there?
They are going to donate this land To Literature Academy!
I know that too..
If anyone comes to demolish the grove
Maybe this is my last visit to Punnayurkulam
"and to the land of Neermathalam!
Kamala Surayya, go back!
Don't play with faith. It's dangerous.
Sir, please ask them to move aside
Kamala Surayya, go back!
Don't play with faith. It is dangerous!
Move aside, man Let her get down..
Madam, the people are a bit violent! Isn't it better to go back?
No, I wont go back
Take that wheel chair"
Where are you going? Move!
Move away!
We won't allow desecration of serpent grove.
Don't play with faith. It is dangerous.
We won't allow desecration of serpent grove.
Kamala Surayya, go back!
No entry to the grove
Kamala Surayya, go back!
You better go back!
Othenlvise blood will be spilled here!
Non-Hindus are not allowed desecrate this place
Don't play with the goddess! - Push that hag aside!
My mother, grandma and great grandma Had lighted lamp in this grove!
Their souls are hovering here
In whatever manner, name or dress I come
But before I leave this soil,
It is my right to come to this serpent grove and the Neermathalam tree..
I am Valli, mistress!
Do you remember me?
But Valli calls herself servant,
Isn't it so, Valli?
Please let me sit here alone for some time..
All of you, please disperse..
I won't be able to come here again, Karma!
I am also leaving my Krishna here..
I think it is time for me to leave everything"
If that is your destiny, How can I prevent it"?
When it is time to die, The wild elephants can sense it..
They move away from other elephants And withdraw into inner forest
In the solitude and security of the forest They seek a lonely death!
Like that, I too am a wild elephant now
A wild elephant, withdrawn into the forest. lying tired..
Around me, only the silent music of the forest.